HOW TO START A CONVERSATION

The Innocence Mission is often asked by concerned parents, friends, and supporters: How can I begin speaking about Child Sexual Abuse — with my family, my friends, and in my community?

Here are six conversation starters.

1. Child Sexual Abuse is a crime of secrecy, with hidden human costs that affect more people than many of us realize: The scope of this crisis is truly vast.

Statistics on Child Sexual Abuse are hard to verify, often because of a victim’s fear or shame about coming forward. It is commonly stated, however, that by the age of 16 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men will be sexually abused, meaning that nearly 20% of all Americans suffer as victims of this horrible crime.⁽ⁱ⁾ Rather than focus on 1 in 4, or 1 in 6, though, we should think about the affects on 4 in 4: We were all children once, and our entire society suffers when a child’s innocence is taken.

2. Most victims of Child Sexual Abuse know their perpetrators.

While abductions by random strangers do occur, they are the exception and not the rule. Perpetrators often exploit a bond of trust that has been built over time, leaving the victim feeling helpless, ashamed, and unwilling to come forward. Tragically, it is a fact that perpetrators are often family members, teachers, coaches, ministers, scoutmasters, or other people our children look up to.^(ii)(iii)

3. There are warning signs we can look for to stop abuse before it reaches a crisis.

Perpetrators often work very hard to conceal their crimes, but as with all criminals, they can be caught. First and foremost, parents should be actively engaged in their childrens’ lives, and with individuals who spend significant time with their children. Victims of abuse rarely lie, and any warning signs—verbal or physical—should be taken seriously. Perpetrators groom their victims over time, and as parents, friends, and neighbors we should be alert to close friendships other adults form with our children.

4. Child Sexual Abuse affects us all, in the devastating after-effects that plague the victims of abuse, their families, communities, and society at large.

Yet another way in which Child Sexual Abuse affects us all is through its social costs in failed families and a huge burden on the health care system. 70 to 80 percent of survivors report excessive drug and alcohol use, major depressive disorders, post-traumatic stress, and other destructive problems that are often never addressed until it is too late.^(iv) Our entire society bears these costs.

5. Children are the victims of almost 7 out of every 10 sexual assaults in the U.S.

Nearly 70% of all sexual assaults in the United States are perpetrated against children ages 17 and younger. Tragically, the actual number is probably even higher, since the 70% considers only those assaults actually reported to the police.^(v)

6. Domestic child sex trafficking is one of the fastest growing crimes, and is affectting hundreds of thousands of children from all walks of life.

Contrary to popular belief, the overwhelming majority of children who are trafficked in the sex industry are not smuggled into the country—they are our very own American children. 80% of the global “sex tourism” happens on American soil, with American children as the victims. This is not prostitution. It is Child Sexual Abuse, and in many cases it is also child slavery.